i am underrated.

sometimes being told you’re a bitch is just a great gift.

2007-10-22T12:06:03Z

so i finished my improv class!
i heart improv.
it seems as it has been my life the last few months.
seeing shows nearly every night, performing couple times a week at open jam type shows, learning improv, eating improv, sleeping improv, etc.
the class really helped open me up more and introduce me to this awesome world of which i really want to be a part of.
and sure, thinking that i can use this as an avenue on my way to being some sort of actor/writer/performer could be a pipedream...
but what's life without a dream?
it's a goal, something to strive for, something i feel like i haven't had in awhile.
i've been wondering what i want to do with myself, with my job, my life, etc...
people always ask me what i love to do, what i enjoy doing and my answers always been, "i don't know.", because i never really felt like i did.
but now i can say i enjoy performing, i enjoy creating something from nothing, and want to improve myself here and grow to create even better.
what comes of this, who knows.
if i end up just meeting lots of neat people and having fun, awesome.
if i end up coming upon some sweet opportunities, even better.
i just know i'm going to enjoy it no matter what.

my class show was SO good, i was nervous, worried that we wouldn't pull it together.
silly me, because we did!
before the show my lovely instructor, the always funny, Lennon Parham split us up into 2 groups...
my group, the high fives!, went first!
the show started with us getting a suggestion from the crowd and 3 members stepping out and doing a monologue.
i ran out and did our first!
i wound up dong 3 scenes, which ended up all featuring me and mike in recurring characters, something no one else did, so it was fun.
so much fun.
the high fives! scored big time.
i even had people come up to me i don't know days later telling me they saw the show and complimented me on my performance.
i want to do this, so i am.

things i want.
-a 201 class with charlie sanders.
-a sketch writing 101 class with.
-higher pay.
-afterwards, a roommate.
-200k on ms pac man.

and also, a dedicated blog somewhere.
any advice?

The best around, no one’s ever gonna keep me down...

2007-08-12T08:45:46Z

so i find myself eating a packaged brownie, in my underwear, watching the karate kid, as my oliver suckles his froggie away on the eve of my first class at the ucb theater.
yes, kathryn and i enrolled in an improv class at UCB and tomorrow is our first class, and i am nervous.
to say the least.
kathryn says i'm funny, as do many others, but i'm still nervous.
i'm sure i'll be fine in the end, but after going to all these improv shows lately, i feel like i'm going to have a hard time.
that i'll just blank when i get up there or something, that i'll just mutter nothingness and fade into the back, etc etc.
but at the same time i think i'll be pretty swell too.
i'm still somewhat in a shell.
sure, it's not nearly as thick as it used to be, but i can still be quite a shy boy.
i suppose i thought this would help finally crack the shell for good and let me meet all sorts of new people.
and perhaps it'll also lead to more opportunities in my silly life.
so yeah, i'm scared, i'm excited.
it's 8 weeks long, every sunday, culminating with a class performance on a saturday afternoon, perhaps some of you peoples will be there.
and laugh.

i saw an odd trio of kids on the subway the other day sitting next to an older man who couldn't have come across as having less of a concern for what they were doing, probably ever.
so here they were, 2 girls(maybe 8&10) and a shirtless boy(maybe 4-5), who had a gold chain around his neck.
which held his pacifier, obviously.
so the girls were playing some game, i didn't quite grasp the rules, they took the other hand and went through their fingers saying something on each finger, and then taking that finger and bending it or pulling it until it hurt?
and then the other would do it..
at one point i'm pretty sure the younger girl was going finger to finger saying "crack, whore, crack..."...
then they did it to the little boy and bent his finger back.
but these kids would cringe in pain and then laugh about it.
crack whores, i get.
but this behavior?
not at all.....

bitch ruined the best ms pac man game of my life last night.

2007-08-06T15:08:49Z

seriously.
i heart ms pac man, it's a main reason i venture to barcade.
and i've never gotten over 90k, nevermind 100k.
so the other night i was hanging laundry and randomly texted kathryn, "cunt" and she called up being all like, "bitch, i'm outside yo house, let's roll." and i was all like, "ok!".
so we hit up barcade, and i'm rockin' ms pac man like i've never rocked ms pac man before, i break 90k on my last woman, 100k is in SIGHT, i can SMELL it, when all of a sudden from behind me this woman starts freaking out!
cursing, slamming, angerily screaming and just overall mistreating a machine and being quite obnoxious about the whole thing.
and get this, over FROGGER of all games.
needless to say, but this distracted me greatly and i got eaten up at 95k.
oh, what could have been...

i had a pretty nifty weekend, i must say.
i also feel a lil like a kleptomaniac, go figure.
friday evening natalie invited me to this bbq which was most conveniently located down the block from me.
we figured on having a beer and staying a half hour or so.
which turned into a few hours, various other beverages and assorted people.
like the guy i half-cocked my head at in the kitchen out of possible recognition before we both realized we had gone to school together.
at which point i immediately regretted making that eye contact...
i successfully avoided him after our forced mini converse and his many invites to "come on out side man!"," you're not leaving already man, are you? come outside!"...
among other highlights of the evening include me breaking the ice with yet another 'sarah' by elbowing her square in the head, helping myself to both a single chopstick & a Mr. T magnet off the fridge and capping off my evening (which at the time seemed like an amazing idea) with a microwaved hot dog with a cold single serve slice of american cheese on top for good measure after just drinking some beer, jack and a never ending vodka based beverage.
the hot dog made a repeat performance in the am.

thus bringing me to saturday and the lovely sarah reyes' birthday weekend extravaganza!
which was a hoot and a half.
i also got to give her her christmas gifts, which was super as i wrapped them back in december and actually had no idea what i had even bought her by now...
but yeah, generally i had a super time with her, her family/friends and her animals.
odin's the best doberman, for sure!
and their 3 week old kitten is to die for.
milo's kind of a bitch though *shrugs*
ashley & mike were super too.
+ i pocketed a fairly nifty 70's lookin' knife at the diner, a continuation of my thieving weekend.

oh, and question of the month?
when i ordered a veggie burger not too long ago i was asked...
"and how would you like that cooked?"
after staring blankly at him for a few seconds i simply answered,
"umm... cooked."

I put the NEAT in Valentine! maybe the NAVEL too? but not the EVIL!

2007-02-15T04:41:28Z

so i spent the first part of my Valentines Day curled up in my chair wearing my pjs, watching All My Children and posting Valentines comments on my friends myspaces...
i was seriously contemplating having to go get into a fist fight or something to even out my high levels of gayness.
of course, the last time i got into a fight i just got punched in the face several times while i stood there laughing in disbelief...
is that manly or just funny?

speaking of funny, as i was sitting at my computer, Oliver was still sleeping on my bed, wrapped up in my blanket on the edge of the mattress.
he was trying to change position when he rolled off the mattress, fell out of my bed and crashed to the floor.
he landed laying atop the blanket, looked around a little and proceeded to settle his head back into the blanket and go back to sleep as if nothing happened.
he is awesome.
anyways, back to the semi-topic at hand...

i have never had a "valentine", i'm not sure if i find this upsetting or not...
i don't think so, for the most part.
i'm actually looking forward to my date tonight with Oliver and LOST.
although, the last few days the thought of having a "special someone" whom i could get fun lil things for, and who would give me a card, some candies(almond kisses??) and maybe let me touch her boobies... ya know, sweet, thoughtful stuff like that seemed rather appealing...
maybe next year?

it was a cold cold night, but Wii warmed it up together.. wink wink

2007-01-28T07:38:47Z

i didn't know what to do!
my night was in shambles, shambles i say!
mainly because i was longing for sushi with Breta.
but alas, issues, issues, damned issues.
work(on her part) prevented our sushi lounge rendezvous.
so i was at a lost with a blank slate of an evening lying ahead of me.
my plans the previous night hall fallen apart ever so ungracefully as well, so i had to make tonight work.
HAD to.
after some internet based talkings with a phoneless Dani, we determined we would take to Amandas!
so i braved the cold, cold... coldness, and went off to meet my beautiful brown friend.
we picked up orange/pinceapple juice on the way, a fine choice by Dani i must say, because Amanda never has anything to drink at her place beyond room temp filtered water and alcohol.
upon arrival Amanda whipped the 3 of us up a lovely meal while i played her Wii on their plasma, which luckily survived my drunken Wii-ness that ensued later on unscatched, somehow.
i can't say the same for one of Amandas glasses though.
smash.
whoops.
Dani was vehemently against us playing Wii, as her aspirations were for us to venture out, to places with music and people and drinks... but, drinks that we'd have to PAY for.
gasp.
i was quite fine settling in at Amandas and having a quiet night with my friends, whee.
David included too.
whom proceeded to school my intoxicated ass in every Wii sport conceivable.
real impressive there David, real impressive...(sarcasm)
as for Dani, she left in a puff.
i accidently caused some spillage on her, and she was already wanting to go out.. so she left.
anyways, the rest of the night was a blur of bowling and apparently boxing.
i woke up on their couch, tucked in and sneakerless, thanks to Amanda i'm sure.
she does love me so, afterall.
i also got a chance to enjoy her lovely dinner a second time in the AM!
when Amanda woke to let the freshdirect man in, i was sitting on her bathroom floor with my friend, the toilet, reading this months Playboy.
seriously, reading!
i actually found that in my moment of stomach unrest that i had no desire to eye the glistening boobies and hairless monsters that were being presented for me.
go figure...

drinking and me!... or should that be, 'drinking and i'? whatever...

2007-01-23T08:34:16Z

so, drinking... and me.
always makes a good combo, i think.
now, i'm not much of a drinker...
heck, i only had my first drink ever a couple summers ago.
i think that summer the drunkest i got was when i ended up in a hot tub with 4 other guys on the roof of this penthouse on the east side of NYC with a full camera, sound and television production crew surrounding us, feeding us more vodka, while we were having just a super swell and heterosexual(i make a point of mentioning this for Kathryn) time.
nifty times, for sure.
hmm, i wonder if i just went against that Non-Disclosure Agreement...
anyways!

vodka.
i had 1 drink saturday night, seriously.
i just didn't let it get empty.
a mighty mighty goal i undertook.
and as my resume says, of which i am currently looking at about 50 copies of, i am goal orientated.
and i do believe it also mentions how i am dedicated to completing tasks as well.
and a never empty glass was the one at hand.
when drunk i tend to get quite silly and quite laughy, maybe flirty?
which is basically me, but definitely more outgoing.
and that's exactly what happened.
my Aunt finally cut me off around 11:30 after i had dropped my drink all over her living room floor when i apparently attempted to hug a young lady by the name of Quinn(whom i had met earlier) goodbye.
i must say, oh what a classy and top notch first impression i ever do make!

on that note, the boston terror and the dorky boy are off to bed.

too many references to female excretions?

2007-01-17T08:17:15Z

seriously!

first i was watching 'How It's Made' on the Discovery Channel.
a pretty nifty show at times that takes you through the process of how random, everyday, objects are made.
toilets, helmets, copy paper, windows, etc etc.
this gives you an idea of just how easily amused i am by the way...
so, i had been going through my cables channel guide and saw it was on.
it said it was going to show how they make concrete pipes and sanitary napkins.
which made me think, oh! i always wonder how they get those lil wet napkins folded so nicely into their packages...
so i sit through concrete pipes only to find out that sanitary napkins are actually... feminine products.
fun.
and it was only made better by the constant use of the term, "menstrual flow".
eewy.

not too long after, i was watching All My Children....
the repeat of todays episode on the Soap Net.
a good one with the return of the super cute/tiny Liz Hendrickson and another revelation of Zarfs story...
has anyone seen my balls btw?
anyways...
it was a commercial, they were showing what looked like a pregnancy tester... thingy...
a huge closeup, it's sleek, modern, smoothly floating against a sleek black background.
the voiceover is saying how much it's improved over the past.
the cap comes off, a stream of clear liquid squirts out of no where, arching ever so slightly, glistening in the light, splashing upon the just revealed strip.
the voiceover continues...
"the most advanced technology you'll ever pee on."

i snorted.

i always wondered what it'd sound like if she peed in a pan...

2007-01-12T09:41:33Z

before attending last nights film screening with Kathryn, the only thought that went through my mind when i heard the word 'Babel' was that of a weird translating fish you'd stick in your ear while traveling across the galaxy along with your towel.
but this film, which Kathryn would later describe as a pile of shit(which i would mostly disagree with), has given me a few more gems to dial up whenever i hear it again.
for instance... moutain-side masturbation, deaf/mute hairy monsters, a Fanning in a desert and, probably my most favorite memory...

there's a scene where an injured woman is being helped by her husband to pee in a pan.
he's holding her, she's peeing.
you can clearly hear this, to everyones delight.
then, they start to kiss.
as you hear the tinkle tinkle into the empty pan.
at this point i turned to Kathryn...
"least romantic kiss ever...?"
to which she responded with, "don't you mean, sexiest?".
and after a few seconds i had to concede, "yeah, especially since she's crying now."
snort.

how was the movie though?
depressing, well shot, great performances, but...
it all felt kind of pointless in the end.
it's like they wanted to take these 3 stories, based in 3 completely different worlds seperated by miles & society, and intertwine them all...
but it just didn't work out and there seemed to be no real reason to even have the japanese story included as the connections just seemed superficial at best.
although, i'm not exactly complaining...
i mean, who doesn't enjoy some gratuitous hairy monster?

isn't it obvious? i have a penis. i am a man.

2007-01-09T06:55:05Z

this is getting bad.
sad?
i find myself watching All My Children at 1am on the Soap Network.
pretty sad, but it's not THAT sad i suppose...
not until you take into account that i already watched this same exact episode about 12 hours earlier.
then...
then, you may be onto something...
i took my headline from a quote from the episode btw.
if you were wondering...

seriously though.
i have just way too much free time lately.

i need a job.
i need a schedule.
when thrown to my own devices i sometimes tend to procrastinate.
procrastinate to no end.
i also go to sleep and wake up at absurd times.
and it being winter, i sometimes wake with only a few hours of sunlight left! ha.
which of course makes me think, mmmm i suppose i'll do something tomorrow then...
this also messes with eating normally as well...
and this is bad.
very bad.

off to email some more cover letters and resumes.
whee!
anyone know of any nifty job openings? PA gigs?
i'm pretty much opening myself up to any idea/option.
something old.. something new...

another thing that is bad...
kathryn and i laughing during a film screening tonight.
which is usually the case, but i mean...
it just felt wrong at times this evening.
especially considering the film was about a brutal Ugandian dictator who slaughtered hundreds of thousands of citizens.
apparently the 2 of us can find the humor between the lines in just about anything.
or maybe it was just the oddly placed fart gag....

he wasn't funny because of the cancer, it was his delivery...

2007-01-05T09:08:30Z

i saw suspenders tonight.
this girl was wearing them.
super cute they were, suspended in disbelief i was.
talking to a girl i know not, a near impossibility!
especially when i hadn't a drink all evening.
i couldn't believe the freaking waitress at this comedy club.
2 round minimum, of course.
but she didn't get me my 2 drinks, which had to come together because it was so late, until like 2 acts before we left.
an hour and a half in.
grr.
and i missed suspenders.
i so had a chance too.
ha!

i saw Bill though, which was cool.
Bill being the producer who picked me to be on the realty show.
oh yeah.
the one that you'll never see and will never flash in big bold red letters next to my picture to the world just how experienced or inexperienced i am...
or was?
giggle.
?

it was awesome seeing kelsey!
she has the greatest laugh.
ever.
i'd eat her blood clot any day....
what?
was super meeting destiny too!
yes.
her name really is destiny.
calling kristen(moo!) randomly, as suggested by jessica, at 2am was funny too.
had she deleted me from her phone?
ha!

so yeah, Steve's funny.

and i am tired...

zzzzzz...

even the birth of jesus couldn't save my week.

2006-12-29T07:05:27Z

honky dory, peach keen, super swell, gravy.
it seemed to me, at least.
the awkward boy, confused again.
wanting laughing and feelings over a sure fling with another thing?
silly me! it seems.
i'm not ashamed to admit that i'm quite oblivious.
to such things as interaction with people, girls, relationships.
but alas, here i be without a we... a job or a mii.
so until the, i guess, next...
i'll continue on just being me.

actually i do have a mii, on amandas wii, which i should visit soon if she ever gets back from the desert...

so, that was the start of my lovely week which brings me to...
my departure from ABC/All My Children.
be it temporarily or forever, it's quite a bummer to me.
the copys, runs, mail, coworkers and tiny actress' i shall miss thee.
and i'm still sore, as is Alicia, that i was not apart of the AMC intern podcast.
i swear i shall be in one of these...
but seriously, i need new employment for the time being.
ideas, ideas?
i'm open to just about anything...

to cap off the week, for christmas i got all sorts of books and movies and clothes and even a stomach flu, which came with no receipt.
tuesday was a glorious day of relaxing in bed and on the bathroom floor.
i'm feeling better now, just in time for new years eve...

yip-fucking-eeeeeeeeee.....

Tis the night before Christmas and Ho's are going down...

2006-12-25T07:02:02Z

i'm finishing up my christmas eve by watching an episode of Six Feet Under with a marathon of COPS glowing & muted from the television behind me.
there was an episode on earlier about catching prostitutes entitled, "Ho Ho Ho!".

Six Feet Under is fantastic.
even though i know the show continues on for like 5 seasons, the beginning storylines in season 1 of whether or not the business is going to be able to survive and such still has a hold of my attention.
Michael C. Hall is a main reason.
i'm hooked on Dexter, a ridiculously awesome show on Showtime about a forensic/blood splatter specialist(Hall) who works for the police but who also moonlights as a serial killer himself, offing people whom he deems deserving utilizing skills his adopted father(a cop himself) taught him so he'd be able to keep his urges to kill at bay by using them for good... phew, that was a mouthful.
anyways, check it out.
so yes, he makes Six Feet Under as well.

anyways, long story short, i should be wrapping gifts instead.

i got my grandmother a can opener.
lame?
it's one of those 'as seen on tv' ones that's hands free and sits atop the can and turns itself around while cutting.
she wanted it, she asked for it, but i still feel it's kind of lame.
i just couldn't find anything "better".

Alicia Minshew was even on my back about not being able to find my grandmother anything while she showed off a lil fancy glass christmas tree ornament which she got her own grandmother...
i'll miss seeing her as much, along with others.
not so much Michael...
but, ABC/All My Children is a blog all onto itself.

ok.
i should be wrapping.

The Violence of the Lambs!

2006-12-24T00:00:50Z

omg.
but i just watched the trailor for this movie, Black Sheep, and it is the most ridiculous thing ever!

a horror movie, about fucked up sheep!
even better, the sheep/creature effects are done by WETA Workshop!
everyone knows who they are, and if you don't...
well, they created everything you see in the Lord of the Ring movies. the creatures, weapons, scenery, makeup, etc.
so, check it out.
it looks so campy and awesome.
i must see it.

merry christmas?

it's not just you, i think i'm crazy too.

2006-08-14T03:03:58Z

i can't sleep.

it could be 1 of 2 things i believe.

firstly, Oliver and I did not get out of bed until a little after 3pm this afternoon.. well, yesterday afternoon. yeah, i know what you're thinking... Oliver is quite the bum. i have no idea where he got it from. so i've only been up a lil more than 12 hours now... another thing is, the silly idea of wanting to move is rattling quite noisily around my head making it difficult to fall sleep. Taylor is looking for a roomie, and... it's tempting to try. would she want me to be? would we get along? and more importantly, could Oliver and The George Foreman get along?.. hmm... she doesn't live all that far from me in brooklyn, and i could maybe possibly afford it... ssooo.. i dunno. should i ask her? or maybe you're already reading this Taylor... maybe this is just a crazy idea at 5am.

so when i can't sleep, i scour craigslist for possible new friends and also plain old entertainment. as for finding friends, i think i did find a pretty nifty new one in a Hofstra attending student who enjoys potatoes and Duchamp, Tiffany. but, i also came across a rather disturbing(to me at least) post from a young woman whose subject line simply asked, "any guys like rimming?". to which all i could think was, "eww!", but i still opened it out of curiosity and couldn't stand for the picture she posted with it. i just couldn't sit there and let her search for such obscene grossness using a picture with such an adorable doggy in it, so i emailed her...

geez!
i feel sorry for your doggy, he's way too cute to be associated with such a post.
please refrain from including the cuteness that is that puppy in any future posts regarding having a stranger lick your asshole.
thank you!

paul.

*shrugs*

this boy knows the difference between there, their and they're!

2006-07-18T06:51:22Z

had a nifty weekend. went to my cousins BBQ on long island with the family and my +1 of Oliver. Oliver had a grand ole time running in the grass like a maniac and biting as many new people as possible(with love, of course! i suppose with irony in the case of the Korean girl, cause apparently they eat dog? yeah.). it wasn't all fun and games though. especially with the games, badminton specifically, in which i lost 2 out of 3 games teaming with my cousin Philip against his brother(also my cousin!) Douglas and their friend Jeff(not my cousin). for this, i am deeply ashamed of myself. then, to add insult to injury, when my 8 and 12 year old cousins were picking teams for a rousing game of wiffle ball, my 8 year old cousin picked me instead of Douglas. his reasoning? he wanted to be fair and didn't want his team to be TOO good, so he picked me. ouch! that stung a lil. haha.

whenever i drink a dr. pepper(which is as often as possible btw) i always think of a Forrest Gump quote, or if i'm with someone i'll even say it... and we all know how good i am at impersonations, right? i say, "i can drink about a million of these." in a perfect, to my ears mind you, Forrest Gump-southern drawl. and this amuses me greatly. but i was watching the movie the other night, and he never says this line, not once, ever. *shrugs*

i was trading emails with my friend Emily, i had asked about her 3 month old daughter Megan and she said, "she giggles at random occasions, she's blowing bubbles with her drool like mad (and I honestly believe she's using it as a form of communication *L*)...I have to admit, she's a doll!". and i couldn't

inside this blog is the most terrific guy!

2006-07-12T06:35:35Z

my social life lately has been like a roller coaster, but one that goes down an awful lot more than usual, and steeply. not to say that it's all been a bummer, certainly not, but i definitely let it get to me more when it is. like my myspace name says, i feel rather underrated. i feel that so many people find me to be so disposable to them, that it's ok just to string me along for when they have no one to do anything with, with no regard to my own feelings and such. i haven't even been trying to date anyone new the last few months as the only someone i want to see lately has been home in new jersey and has had me out of the loop for the last month or so, and has proven to be a whole entire confusion to me all on it's own i suppose you could say... just making friends has turned out to be difficult enough. it feels like i have to beg and wear people down sometimes just to get them to hang out with me hah. gosh! i've met quite a few people and have been blown off so many times lately, seemingly so easily too! as if with not a care in the world. has maybe the internet made it too easy for people to toss others to the side without a second thought. perhaps the anonymity and shadow to kind of hide behind, since they don't have to actually face someone, has made them believe that this kind of stuff doesn't actually hurt the person? or maybe it has just given them a way to feel guilt free? what happened to just being honest with people? hmm... *shrugs* perhaps i need to ween myself off from trying to meet new people through just the internets and myspace alone. perhaps perhaps perhaps. perhaps i also have to thank Sarah, Natalie and Stefani for putting up with me... haha.

the ups are always super swell though. like my many talks with Sarah about anything and everything, decent and indecent. no one gets us, but us. and it's true. we, for some reason, tell each other everything... and we're not really sure why. we don't get to hang out all that much, and it might be for the better hah. we are tomororw though, for the first time in a few months. we're going to go check out the Bodies exhibit, get me some new undies, play with oliver and other random stuff. it should be pretty sweet. also major plus' as of late include, but not limited to, getting nauseas as shit with Natalie at Coney Island, Lionel fuckin' Richie with Stef and an afternoon of dumpling eatin'/people watchin' with Maggie! wooo.

Oliver steals a bulldogs toys, destroys plastic gallon bottle of water, steals balls from everyone (especially Rocket), and many other bratty shenanigans. Megan returns and continues to call Oliver, Oscar. Ginger Lee pooped. i found out why one of the local polish drunks is called 'Apple Core', but still don't fully understand... i must see this man. i also want to see the one they refer to as the Mayor. and that's what has happened in the dog run so far this week...

i feel like a koala bear just crapped a rainbow on my brain.

2006-06-12T05:20:31Z

my planned meal with Jenny fell through saturday evening unfortunately, but Stefani still took me out with her. and it twas nifty, we had a super time. she took me to a birthday party for this guy Jared. the party, in which i knew not one other person, was a lil awkward at first, which is a give-in with me... you know, awkwardness. speaking of awkward, i think Jareds father(Dave) was hitting on me? the first thing that gave me this idea was when he thought i should take up the piano because of my long, strong fingers. i agreed jokingly and mentioned how girls like musicians. he responded, with a wink mind you, "boys like them too." ok, innocent enough... i suppose, but then later i was speaking with Dave and his husband, whom commented that he liked my t-shirt(picture above). Dave inspected me with his gaze while rubbing his chin and commented that he liked it as well, but that "it would look even better if you took it off." hmm...

so i headed to McCarren park earlier tonight as i heard there was going to be a super nifty williamsburg party that i thought i'd investigate. so i get to the park, and it's pretty empty, i wander around, kick a few empty cans before head home with my head down in defeat. when i got home, i read that the party actually took place the night prior. which, in retrospect, explained why it was so littered with paper, plates and bottles as i was walking home passed the park at 3am last night, and the thought had crossed my mind, "gosh, this place is a mess, it looks like there was a party here or something."... it's scary how right i was. it's also scary how quick i can be.

washing my face with the bathroom door open behind me scares me as well...

it can't rain every day.........

2006-06-05T06:19:34Z

what a crappy weekend. it certainly didn't start well with the lovely weather we had on friday. i, as a lowly dogwalker, am suspectable to the elements. especially the liquidy element of water in the ever popular form of, rain. as i started my usually enjoyable hour long walk with Jackson around Central Park i unexpectedly found myself in quite the lil downpour wearing nothing more than a tshirt and holding a crappy umbrella which, in the end, managed to protect the top 3rd of my shirt and my hair to a point where they were merely damp while the rest of my clothes/body was drenched. i used the term, "sloshing around in my sneakers", a few times afterwards. this rain also stretched my usual 30 minute commute home to a tons-of-fun 3 hour trek, as the trains were just horrendously screwed up. then i got home only to realize that my cable connection had gone to shit, the displays on my cell phone ceased to.. well, display and i either hadn't heard back from anyone about doing something this weekend or was canceled on. whee!

the cellphone display problem is quite a bummer in it of itself. i am supposed to be receiving a replacement phone in the next few days, but apparently my saved texts and photos on my current phone are pretty much unobtainable. now i suppose silly texts and pictures of me and dogs i walk are mostly frivolous, although i will miss my first incoming text ever from Sarah which i believe was, "yay 4 texts!" as well as Rachaels text in which she proclaims me the biggest dork ever and the bees knees. what i will miss most is something that can't be as easily replaced in the last few pictures i took of Wally before he passed away last april. the pics of his lil fat puggy face were always my favorite pictures i had stored, and as silly as it may seem, has upset me a lil. i've tried blindly to send them to myself via a pix msg, but i do not remember the menus by heart to do it. so if you happen to have a Samsung A670, it would be greatly appreciated.

while out to eat one day with my friend Taylor one day she told me that she had to pee, so i asked her why she just didn't... well, go. she replied with, "i'll wait till it gets worse.". this made me laugh.

"I just tagged you!" nuh uh! you only got my shirt, you need flesh contact! i'm on base now...

2006-03-12T23:50:42Z

i had a pretty neat week last week... got last minute tickets to see Belle & Sebastian for less than face(craigslist, woot!) and i also got another pair of last minute tickets to see Matisyahu... which was probably one of the awesomeest performances i've yet to see live! there's just something about a beat boxing, rastafarian singing, hasidic jew that warms my heart and makes me smile... i ended up taking a new myspace friend of mine, Gwen, to that... twas random, last minute and the first time we actually hung out... i think we had a really nifty time... yay for burritoville and jews!

i also had a photoshoot where i modeled, surprise surprise, t-shirts! that should be a career goal of mine, professional tshirt model!actually, maybe i should seriously check into that... anyways! the shoot, by adam raia, went well and i got some pretty sweet shots out of it! than later that night i invited to a taping of last comic standing by stefani... my favorite comic was josh blue, this young guy with cerebral palsy... when he was through with his act he looked at the audience and told us, "you're all going to hell for laughing at me!!" and left...

yesterday was beautiful! which brings to mind weird conversational phrases that appear to make no sense if you really think about them, but are commonly understood by everyone... a prime example of this that i recently had an experience with is, "86ed"... where did that term come from?? it confuses me... so yeah, yesterday i had planned on going to union square with Oliver, but had decided not to later on... so i was talking to Paula when i decided this and i told her, "oliver and i 69ed union square..." and i immediately thought to myself.. wait.... that.. didn't sound right, at all... but then, why does 86ed sound right?? can anyone explain this? thanks.

i'm the poster boy for the dangers of being way too sexy...

2006-02-25T05:13:12Z

I had a dream the other night... i don't remember the whole deal, but i was in some park and this homeless guy grabbed my ass... like groped me... so i punched him in the face... and that's all i can remember... i woke up thinking, eh, could i really blame him for wanting to??

i get bored and randomly email myspace people to amuse myself... i wrote my friend paula's friend, penny, the other day... i said something like, "baby, you is hot 'nuff to be a quarter!"... she didn't respond, i don't think she was amused... then i emailed some punk rock adult entertainer *cough*, telling her how i just responded to a craigslist posting looking for porn stars telling them, while i may not have much experience, i am punctual, a quick learner and am dedicated to completeing tasks... *shrugs*

i found the greatest book ever today! it was just lying on this bench in central park, and i looked at it shockingly like, someone just THREW this gem away?!? the back cover just whets my appetite... i mean seriously, i've been wondering how brenda was able to keep her cool in that steamy relationship she had with that bad boy rebel dylan mckay for years! i also have not been able to explain to myself what exactly it is about brandon that makes girls everywhere melt! i sure hope this book offers me some much needed insight...

maybe you're eating the wrong flavors, like fish or something...or farts jelly!

2006-02-20T07:47:16Z

so i was so bored today that i watched the cutting edge this afternoon which... if you're not aware, is probably the single greatest figure skating centered film conceived in all of cinematic history... it's a classic fish out of water type of love story about a down on his luck country boy hockey player who's rough around the edges, but has a sensitive side who is paired up with a stuck up snotty rich bitch of a girl who has always gotten everything she's wanted in life but never appreciated any of it... they skate, fall, fight, fall in love, kiss and skate some more... and just when they were about to win the olympic gold medal in pairs figure skating is when i realized that i need to get a life...

my friend sarah wanted me to talk about her in my blog...

mean people stink... i was walking this 11 year old pug, Remi, the other day on 8th ave and these 2 women walked by us and one said to the other, "oh eww, i think those are the ugliest dogs ever..."... and i just looked at her with sort of a "wtf?" expression and was like, "well gosh, that wasn't very nice of you to say..."...
oh wells, i told Remi she was beautiful :)

forever in search of the alternative to love? err... hmm...

2006-02-15T06:54:33Z

last night was pretty nifty... hung out with a few people who worked on the reality show i was a part of, including Jake whom actually might be the main reason it ever airs! gosh, i hope we don't air opposite of 24! i might have a man crush on keifer sutherland... *shrugs* anyways... i'm not sure what it's like with other reality shows, and if the cast & crew ever get this close, but it feels different to me with us... maybe it's that we're all in the same city, around the same age or the nature of the cast and the premise of the show... who knows, but i'm glad i disregarded that whole 4th wall BS...

so yeah, what an annoying holiday... i had a valentines day card waiting for me this morning signed, "licks & love, Oliver"... my mom is a bigger dork than i am... i had an alright day though... i got condoms!! WOO! because, as i'm sure you all know, paul could always use more condoms!! ok, who rolled their eyes? i went to surprise Stefani, who was handing out condoms for a promotion, and wished her a happpy valentines day this afternoon, and got the bonus of seeing Kristin! i hadn't seen her since summer, twas a treat... so yeah, back to valentines day... i suppose i was a lil down that i spent it alone again, but i did enjoy giving my mom, grandmom and my sis a lil something, as well as my sis' roomie Kristie! also, making a buncha dorky comments on my friends myspaces was fun as well... so.. yeah... i'm not sure what my point is here... but valentines day is silly and i want to cuddle? ok.

i saw panic! at the disco the other night, twas neat... although i had no idea who i was going with 45 minutes prior to doors... thankfully my vegan myspace friend, Ariela, just so happened to be at the venue and in need of a ticket! so long story short the music was fun, i drank a lil, attempted to "dance" and tickled a random girls arm pit...

hooktunfonix @ 2006-02-06T02:27:00

2006-02-06T08:18:34Z

last night was definitely interesting... i met up with Natalie, who models, and is seeing a photographer, Miguel, whose roomie is a stylist... so we ended up crashing this designers after party, i think 'as four'? *shrugs* anyways, we didn't have RSVPs, so while they were waiting to get their names checked off a list that didn't have their names on it in the first place, i just walked on in like i was just meant to be there with my pink hat and lime green tee... the drinks were free, the people were tall, the music was... ok... i hung out with the singer of the Ravonettes, and by, "hang out" i mean, i awkwardly smiled and acknowledged her from several feet away and adverted eye contact after... we left there and went to Marquee where the drinks were not free and i got a noogy from Kathleen after i tickled her arm pit, it was quite sweeeet... the ultimate goal of mine for the night was to make it to Misshapes to get a chance to meet one of the loves of my life, the lovely Jenny Lewis, who was guest DJing... but Natalies silly Delaware ID was denied, shockingly enough, and i didn't care to go in without her... so my quest of meeting Jenny and having her fall in love with me continues...

how bout that football game tonight? yeah, i didn't give a poop either... some nifty commercials though, i suppose...

some things i would like to do this week include... getting my hair trimmed, eat sushi, email nifty jobs i come across, get paid for a job i did a month ago!, finally get around to finishing Catch-22, hopefully obtain tickets to a sold out concert, avoid bird flu, stuff envelopes to random production companies with resumes and cover letters, be made up to for being stood up by a friend of mine, get more swell tshirts and of course... cuddle... any takers? hmm...

to get somewhere new, we may have to leave somewhere else behind...

2006-01-15T11:29:45Z

it's after 6am... i started drinking earlier tonight at 6pm, i was tipsy by 8, pretty much gone by 9, home by 10(lols @ own picture)... and to think i had planned on attending a party after the initial one... but who would have ever thought i'd drink so much at my aunts party? ("so much" to me is 4 drinks by the way) it was a good time for the most part, although when my sister and cousins left i felt a lil out of place considering no one else was even in their 20s... i met some guy who's in film production and told him if he ever needed a good sober PA to let my uncle know... cause i'd clearly never remember him... i wonder what his name was... this was the first time my mom has seen me after i've drank, i wonder what she thought...

i'm kind of new to holding hands... actually, i'm kind of new to lots of things... i'm physically 24, but i sometimes feel like i was left back a few grades and i still have a lot of catching up to do... it's fun at times... i never had a curfew growing up, but i never went out... regrets? sure, at times... but what's the point of regretting things you can't go back and change?

my family is my antidrug... i say no because of some of their past yes'... chapstick is my drug of choice...

i was just in bed cuddling with oliver, he actually had just curled into a tight ball around my stomach when i randomly got up to write this out... i was thinking of how i've always went about things in my life... always thinking a lot before acting, always seeking approval before doing, always asking opinions before deciding... and it struck me as kind of silly... i think i shall change that from now on, or at least make an effort to... if i want something, i want to go for it before asking someone how/if they think i should... if i want to see a movie, i want to see it before worrying about finding someone to go with... if i like you, i want to tell you that i do before i ask someone else if they think i should or not... why wait?

she hates the word moist... she thinks it's pornographic.

2006-01-10T07:56:08Z

happy new year? perhaps a lil late, but whatever! i think 2005 was a pretty good year for me for the most part... it had it's ups, like getting Oliver, the reality show, meeting lots of new people and it had its downs, which right now i can only think of losing my Wally whom i'll miss forever... overall i feel i am a better person, well actually i feel like the same person, but i feel i am more comfortable putting that person out there for other people to know... being on that silly reality show showed me a couple things... that putting myself out there, being myself with other people and generally just being a bit more outgoing is possible and can be a good thing when i do it... i still have issues, but i'm getting there... it also got me somewhat interested in getting interested in pursuing tv/film production as well... so yeah, my year ended on a decent note as well with one of the many new people i was ever so happy to meet this past year... i didn't have any plans for NYE, but i ended up making last minute ones with Sandra! she introduced me to dumplings, then we saw Dial M for Murder(in 3 dimensional fun!) then after midnight we met up with a few people at this japanese restaurant, kenkas, and drank alcohol of japan and testicles of turkeys there for a bit before coming back to my place to play with oliver, watch movies and sleep the morning/afternoon away, whee! *poke* twas a good 'goodbye' to '05... as for '06 is concerned, i'm still figuring out what i want to do with it... certainly i shall try to continue moving forward personally/socially and perhaps even more so, professionally, as i need to start figuring out what i want to be when i grow up.. hmm...

this past weekend was pretty nifty i must say... which i seem to say a lot lately, 'nifty' that is... hmm, anyways! i met up with becky early saturday afternoon and we got some breakfast and learned that waitress' reuse tea bags, wandered around williamsburg, came across creepy jewish girls who reminded me of The Shining, took pictures of random things like sandels on the sidewalk, got greasy chinese take out, watched the original king kong, got drinks on the beach, or at least a bar with dirty sand on it's floor, and then parted aways at around 12:40, but we pretended it to be midnight... then on sunday i spent it with my friend sarah up in westchester, whee! i wore my pink hat and tshirt to this high school kid metal/screamo show and slightly stuck out... i did not fall asleep on sarahs bed either... we also ate mexican, complete with a very disappointing chimichanga... after dinner we had starbucks, which turned out to not be a very good combo with the before mentioned mexican, then went to go bowling... we were all worried about it being a league night when we really should have been worrying if it was even going to be open or not, as it was not... oh wells... still a good day...

speaking of good days, oliver won't be having one tomorrow, that's for sure... he's getting his lil guys snipped off ;x thankfully he was able to hump one more girly dog today in the park before he loses them, i suppose those were his last licks? hmm... i am seriously hoping that when i go pick him up later in the day that he has a plastic cone on his head... oh please god let it be so! that would make my week...